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Mindful Living Network, Mindful Living, Dr. Kathleen Hall, The Stress Institute, OurMLN.com, MLN, Alter Your Life Mindful Mate

Are You Ready to Move-In Together?

November 11, 2016

Moving in together is a crucial step in a relationship. If you’re considering doing this there are Mindful steps that you can take to ensure that your new life together is a success.

Most couples consider moving in together as the perfect test for marriage. The Annual Review of Sociology reports that “55 percent of cohabitating couples get married within five years of moving in together.” But, moving in too soon or moving forward for the wrong reasons can hurt the relationship. The Annual Review of Sociology study also shows that 40 percent of couples that lived together for five years broke up.

Before you two make your move, consider these tips:

  1. The Honeymoon phase: Moving in too fast after a few months of dating can crash a relationship. Psychologist Dr. Robert Solley suggests that couples should wait at least nine months before living together. This way both individuals can enter this new lifestyle with both eyes open.
  2. Vacations and sleepovers: Test the waters with vacations and sleepovers before you commit. Vacations can be tough, but with a Mindful guide they can survive and learn from the experience. If you spend five or six days per week together already and have a drawer for each other’s belongings, you’re in the right direction.
  3. Communication is key: Are you open and honest with one another or do you suppress your feelings? Before you move in together be sure that you have compatible future expectations (like kids and marriage). If you don’t, are you willing to compromise or come up with a solution together?
  4. Fighting and reuniting: When it comes to relationships, couples that argue and survive are likely to stay together longer. Sharing the same living space indefinitely can cause tension in any relationship. So, before you move in together it’s important that you both know how to disagree the right way.
  5. Money matters: Finances can cause trouble in a new living arrangement before the boxes have been unpacked. Be sure that you’re both on the same page. Figure out who will pay for which expenses and whether or not you’ll be sharing an account.
  6. Space of your own: Living together means sacrificing space and independence. Be sure that you both have rooms or little nooks in your new shared home for your own personal interests. Respect each other’s need for privacy and alone time.

 

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