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Sports Widow / Widower

February 23, 2015


It’s that time of year again. You may be dreading this time of year if you are one of the many people who become a sports widow or widower. If you want your sports lover to stop watching sports, that just wont work. How would you feel if you were told to stop experiencing an event that allows you to enjoy feelings of playfulness, happiness and ties into a lifetime of memories and experiences?

Here are a few inside tips to help you navigate the challenges of being a sports widow or widower.

The Good:

  1. There are health benefits to enjoying sports:
  • PLAY: Enjoying watching sports can be a great way to PLAY. Research shows play keeps us healthy: vital organs like the brain get energized and renewed. PLAY creates essential social connections that we as humans need. PLAY makes us laugh, play and creates happiness.
  • Stress Reducer: Blowing off Steam: you can produce great healthy hormones when you are having fun and reduce the stress hormones.
  • Relaxation: This may be a great source of relaxation for your partner. Relaxation is essential for good mental and physical health.
  • Community: Identifying with a group and bonding with people you have over for the game are all great for mental health.
  • Family Activity: You can make sporting events family activities. Family members get your favorite teams jerseys, eat fun food, (pizza, subs and other favorites), create rituals when your team scores, celebrate and also share the crying towel when they lose.
  1. Communication between both of you
  • Sharing sporting events together is a great way to open communications with each other. This can be an opportunity to play, laugh, and talk with your significant other. Good communication creates intimacy. Also, instead of living in 2 different worlds, you can share one space together.

The Bad:

  1. Talk about it! Your partner does not like sports. Complains all the time. Resents the time you spend watching and enjoying sports. You fight about this continually
  2. Alternative attitude:
  • Compromise. Watching sports for X hours and doing other family activities or being with you X amount of time each weekend.
  • Do your own thing, they do their thing. Use this time to meet your friends for a bite to eat, go to a great movie or shop.
  • Relax. Read a book, get your iPad and watch a movie, do your favorite past time while your partner watches the game.
  • Education:
  • Learn as you go. Learn to share this time together, and learn the sport.
  • What are the exact goals of the game?
  • Learn the rules
  • Listen to the commentators.  They are professors of that sport.  They will teach you rules, strategy, and tell you personal stories about the players, the team, the owners.  They invite you into that sports family.
  • Pick your own team. Wear their colors of your favorite team, or a jersey that you can create at the pro-sports on line store. Root for your own favorite team, which lots of times is different thank your partners.

The Ugly:

  1. Sportsaholics: when the other person is so absorbed into the sports activity they ignore and avoid home life, there is a problem. When sports becomes a God, above all other things, there is a problem.
  2. Problems in your relationship: Sports obsession can also be masking a problem in your relationship. Each of you begin to separate and you feel isolated.  When your communication stops, you are arguing much of the time, or your relationship. GET HELP!


November 1, 2015

August 11, 2015

February 23, 2015