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Mindful Living Network, Mindful Living, Dr. Kathleen Hall, The Stress Institute, OurMLN.com, MLN, Alter Your Life Mindful Family

The In-laws are Coming

November 21, 2017

Thanksgiving, the holiday of togetherness and appreciation, is upon us. This means that some of us will be spending time with our in-laws. Whether you’re a newlywed or have recently celebrated your 20th anniversary, getting along with your in-laws is a delicate balance.

#1 Tip for Keeping the Peace this Thanksgiving

Put talking with your spouse on your Thanksgiving checklist.

Kindly let them know the challenges you face with their parents days (maybe weeks) in advance. Also, listen and consider what your spouse has to say. No matter how a couple feels about their in-laws, the two of them are in this together and should be on the same page.

The person with the primary relationship needs to be the messenger. So before the festivities try having your spouse call their parents to have an open discussion. They will likely be less emotional speaking with their own child than their in-law. Assure them that you don’t want to hurt them, but would simply like to enjoy a peaceful Thanksgiving meal together.

Experts believe that there needs to be a balance between communication and boundaries. Discuss with your spouse just how much information about your marriage you’re willing to share with your parents. Talking about your vacation plans could be fine; discussing pregnancy complications with them may not be. Experts also say that the key to in-laws is to treat them like neighbors, with the proper fences you could become fast friends.

Try not to be discouraged if the in-laws seem resistant to change or even listening to your concerns. Remember that this relationship is important to your spouse (and/or children). Stay positive and cool this holiday season. To keep things from overheating try creating a distraction: an adorable moment with the grandchildren, spontaneous family pictures, or immediate assistance with festivities preparations usually does the trick.

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